Summer.

OMG! i like soo can not wait for summer. i get to go back to cali! sooo many people to see. imma meet up with keis pretty ass. and my bew LC. hes wat im looking forward to the most. i cant wait to come.it is gonna be soooo much fun! all the people i didnt get to see last summer we are so gonna kick it this summer. 

Snow

it was too cold to step outside to make the video.

lol

bored.

so yeah im bored on the phone with felicia and lando. omg these 2 are like the lamest ever but i love them to death! his gayness is soooooo funny. and she is just straight up retarded. our convos are like the best. 3-way fo life! lol. but yeah just decided to tell you guys about my favorite buddies!

bad mood

Yeah so me and my mom just got into an argument because she took my computer out of my room. Since I wasn't doing my school work. Ugh! It just put me in like the worst mood ever. And like now she's saying we arnt gonna go to our christmas party tomorrow which really I don't wanna go because I don't wanna be around her, but then I do wanna go. But anyways I really wanna get a couple days off work and just go stay with my sister so I can get away from my mom for awhile cause I really think imma end up blowing up on her and I don't wanna do that so yeah I need a "break" from her. I really don't know what else I could do. It just seems like lately we have been getting on eachothers nerves. Either I need a break or we need to figure this out, cause I can't keep doing this shit.

vlog1

excuse my hair.

lol.

it was a mess.

bling.

So basically I'm bored so i decided to blog. today was sooo just blah, work went by fast tho. omg when i went to count my till i was off $20 and we couldn't find it nowhere, finally we found it. but i so did not want to get written up for that shit. so thank geebus! hmmmm shout outs to my baby boos tavii and ron! ugh i have to clean my room and do laundry and i so don't feel like doing it at all, but i gots too. so I'm going to a mark christmas party on saturday im sooooo excited, mary [the main person lady] always gives like the best things! but first I'm going to lunch with hertuesday which is gonna be fun also, she calls it our "lovefests" lol. oh and my sidekick is still off. totally missing that! :( omg i have this cut from shaving on my ankle and like its from last week and it itches pretty bad right now. its bugging lol. but i don't wanna scratch it and make it bleed. lol.  oh and about my last blog and my ex i aim'd him last night and we talked about everything so I'm all good now. [we are friends again]. :) well i cant think of anything else to say. [this was really meant to be for ron but i rambled on!] lol

ily ron buddy!

EX.

So today i was looking through my computer documents and i found 2 conversations i had saved from aim's with Tay[my ex]. The first one i saw was from when we first got together and i had just left him in California and it was all sweet and stuff all the "i love yous" and "i miss you". We even sang Marques Houston-Everything together. But then i came across the second convo and it was from when we broke up. It really hadn't dawned on me how much i miss him until i read those 2 conversations. I actually started getting tears in my eyes while reading them. Sometimes i really wanna aim him and see what happens but then i don't. In a way i think its best to just leave it alone. By aiming him it will make it so hard on me because it will bring back all the memories and times we shared together. In a way I'm scared it will make me not want to pursue anything with somebody else. The times me and Tay shared were memories i will never forget, whether we were sitting on the couch or walking through the park at 2am. They were some of the best times in my life. And i actually wanna thank him for it, because i found out what love is and how it feels to be in love. But he also showed me what it feels to be heart broken. When we broke up i was literally speechless. I couldn't think of anything to say at all. All i could do was cry. At first i didn't even understand why we broke up. But when i read that second convo i found out it was because of the "long distance" he said he couldn't trust me out here with these boys. He said he had major jealousy issues and he couldn't handle it.  He said for us to break up until i go back out there or he comes out here for the navy. But that's not what i wanted either i could have him now or i don't want him. Cause if he only wants me when I'm there just so nobody else can have me i wasn't down. I really don't get it still. But i guess everything happens for a reason. And i can only hope we can become friends again down the road.