EX.

So today i was looking through my computer documents and i found 2 conversations i had saved from aim's with Tay[my ex]. The first one i saw was from when we first got together and i had just left him in California and it was all sweet and stuff all the "i love yous" and "i miss you". We even sang Marques Houston-Everything together. But then i came across the second convo and it was from when we broke up. It really hadn't dawned on me how much i miss him until i read those 2 conversations. I actually started getting tears in my eyes while reading them. Sometimes i really wanna aim him and see what happens but then i don't. In a way i think its best to just leave it alone. By aiming him it will make it so hard on me because it will bring back all the memories and times we shared together. In a way I'm scared it will make me not want to pursue anything with somebody else. The times me and Tay shared were memories i will never forget, whether we were sitting on the couch or walking through the park at 2am. They were some of the best times in my life. And i actually wanna thank him for it, because i found out what love is and how it feels to be in love. But he also showed me what it feels to be heart broken. When we broke up i was literally speechless. I couldn't think of anything to say at all. All i could do was cry. At first i didn't even understand why we broke up. But when i read that second convo i found out it was because of the "long distance" he said he couldn't trust me out here with these boys. He said he had major jealousy issues and he couldn't handle it.  He said for us to break up until i go back out there or he comes out here for the navy. But that's not what i wanted either i could have him now or i don't want him. Cause if he only wants me when I'm there just so nobody else can have me i wasn't down. I really don't get it still. But i guess everything happens for a reason. And i can only hope we can become friends again down the road.